When you’ve broken up, what is the absolute worst thing that can happen?
What’s the one thing that you don’t want? You don’t want to lose that person forever. In fact you’ll do anything, anything at all to get them back, wont you? And in that lies the problem. The big problem is that if you’re really willing to do anything to get back with the ex, then the risk is you are capable of doing something that will push them further – and might be for good.
Because this is a strong emotional motive, then you really are able to do anything. It’s good to think things through before acting. Fatal Attraction anyone? If you want to get back with the ex, then you have to take a leap of faith that’s against all you want at this point in time. You have to accept the counter-intuitive, and take a leap of faith. You must accept that for now, you are single.
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Your ex has gone his or her own way, and so should you. Right now you must tell yourself that your ex is not coming back to you. You ask, ‘why am I doing this? Isn’t this the opposite of my goal of getting back with the ex?’ Not the case. Failure to acknowledge that he/she may never return is that main cause why many people unconsciously destroy any chance of recovering their relationship! It’s a hard thing to do, but until you accept that the ex may never return, no matter what you do, all your responses will be based on your emotions.
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Instead of being in control and having a rational response – out of nowhere the desperation will lead you to do exactly the wrong thing at the absolute wrong time. We don’t want that to happen. Acceptance is step one in taking back control of the situation. Ever think that its too confusing to pick it up where it left off, or feel that sorting things out is just way too overwhelming? It is. The only way to do it correctly, thoughtfully and with lasting effect is to start fresh and move on from there. The word is ‘clean slate’, and its basis is not the relationship you once had, but the new one you will have in the future.
The biggest barriers to getting you inner game together is to accept these things; that he or she is gone and you’re now single and that part of your life is over. Its something that you NEED to do, after all it didn’t work! It maybe something easy for some people, as it could be a relief from something that was downright painful and traumatic for them.
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Its time to sever yourself from even the good parts of that failed relationship, for now it is better to accept the loss of it and look forward to starting fresh with that person. Of those people that are going through the same thing, many will not come out with a good ending, maybe they wont come out too good at all.
They may lose the sense of what they want from life and sink further into a depression of being in a state of what they don’t want. Others will come out with a new perspective as a new person, enjoying life in a brand new way. Others may get their wish and get back with the ex, but with a new relationship that is much more satisfying and happier than was before.